Things Change
by ROSSELLA1
Summary: Three years after leaving South Park, Stan returns for a visit, only to find that things have changed. Kyle and Cartman appear to be best friends. Can Stan convince Kyle that Cartman's faking? Spoilers for 'You're Getting Old' and on.
1. Chapter 1

Ch.1

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoiler for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. I hope Stan does come back but this is assuming he's been gone for three years.

The door to the arcade gave a haunted house creak as it slammed shut before that causing him to smile; he'd forgotten it did that. A quick glance and he saw that nothing else had really changed, even though three years had passed. His grin widened as his eyes alighted on a figure in a green hat. Walking over as quietly as possible, he waited until he was only inches away from the boy and then leapt forward, covering the boy's eyes with his hands.

"Hey!" The boy laughed, "Cartman, I- Stan!" Kyle exclaimed, turning around. "Hi, I didn't know you were back. It's good to see you again"

Stan felt a twinge of pain as he realized that Kyle's smile was the distant type that people usually gave to acquaintances. Shaking it off, he smiled back. " Yeah, I have the next two week off from school and Mom and I thought it would be cool to come back and see how things had changed."

"Cool." Kyle agreed. "So how long are you back for?"

"Just a couple of days." Stan hesitated. "Uh... do you wanna hang out or something? I mean-"

"Sure!" Kyle smiled. "We just have to wait for Cartman."

Stan narrowed his eyes. "Cartman?"  
>"Yeah, he's in the bathroom."<p>

"Dude," Stan laughed, "Since when do you hang out with Cartman?"  
>Kyle frowned. "We've always hung out, remember? You, me, Kenny, and Cartman."<br>"Yeah, but just you and Cartman? Is Kenny here somewhere?" Stan glanced around but didn't see any sign of the orange parka or Kenny's blonde hair.

"Nope. He died this morning. It's just Cartman and I."

"Oh... why would you want to hang out with Cartman?"

"Because, he's my friend, Dude." Kyle sighed. "What is this, twenty questions?"

"No, it's just that...well, you two are always fighting and-"

"Not anymore."

"But, Dude... Cartman?"

"He's really not that bad a guy!"

"But he always rips on you for being Jewish and having red hair!"

"Not anymore; he's actually really nice now."

Stan sputtered. "Cartman? Nice?"

"He's changed, Stan." Kyle replied firmly.

"He's a psychopath!"

"Technically people can't be diagnosed as psychopaths until they're 18 years old."

"He's-

"Hey, Kahl!" Came a laugh, causing both Stan and Kyle to look up. Stan was surprised to see that Cartman had lost some weight. "Guess what I just-" Cartman's eyes widened as he got closer. But the look of surprise only lasted a second. "Oh, Stan! I didn't know you were back! How very nice to see you!" Cartman asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.

"Oh, please, Cartman. We all know you don't mean that." Stan snapped.

"Dude!" Kyle shouted.

"Whatever do you mean?" Cartman asked, eyes wide. "Of course I mean that; we were friends Stan, don't you remember?" He gave a sniff.

"Come on, Kyle, we both know he's faking!" Stan pleaded.

"He's changed Stan." Kyle repeated.

Cartman nodded. "He's right. I know I wasn't always the nicest to you guys, but you really mean a lot to me. I'm sorry about all the times I was mean. Will you forgive me?"  
>"He's tried to commit genocide multiple times! He made a guy eat his parents! Guys like him don't change! Don't you remember the time he had Cthulhu send us to a parallel universe?"<p>

"I-I know but, Stan," Kyle glanced away and then back before continuing in a pleading tone. " But he's really nice now. Don't you think everyone should have a second chance?"

"I-" He looked into Kyle's eyes and realized that it was no use trying to reason with him. He sighed. "Okay."  
>Kyle beamed. "Great. Now, lets go. Cartman and I were just about to go see that new Terrance and...oh..." He trailed off unsure.<p>

Stan gave a reassuring. "Oh, it's alright dude. Turns out it was just a phase I was going through."

"Really?" Kyle asked suspiciously.

"Yeah! But I totally grew out of it!" It had actually taken almost a year of hypnotherapy but he could tell Kyle that later.

"Cool, so you wanna go?"

"Come on Kyle," Cartman interrupted, "I'm sure Stan wants to get settled in."  
>"No!" Stan growled. "I want to go to the movies!"<p>

"Dude!" Kyle exclaimed. "Cartman was just-"

Kyle was interrupted by Cartman who merely smiled and said. "That's great, Stan."

Kyle looked like he was about to say something else but appeared to decide against it. "Okay. Let's get going." He led the way out the door.

Stan was about to follow him when Cartman put a hand on his shoulder. "Stan? I know it's hard to believe, but Kyle and I are friends now."

"Whatever, Cartman. I'll believe it when I see it." Stan shrugged the boys hand off his shoulder and exited the building.

"Yes you will, you friendship-crashing asshole." Cartman whispered to himself, once Stan was out of hearing range. "And if you try to steal Kyle from me, I'll kill you.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoiler for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. I hope Stan does come back but this is assuming he's been gone for three years.

"Hey, wait up guys!" Cartman said, stopping in their walk down the street.

"What's wrong?" Kyle asked.  
>"How about we stop by the drug store and buy the candy and soda there? Then we can save some money!"<p>

"Sure!" The red-head said.

"Yeah," Stan shrugged, "I guess."

They entered the store and Cartman quickly dashed to the candy aisle, grabbing his snacks before Stan and Kyle could even catch up with him. Then, Cartman rounded the corner and entered the medicine aisle. He glanced around to make sure no one was watching him, and then grabbed the cheapest laxative he could find (no need to spend _too_ much money just yet). He went to the front, grabbed a soda from the refrigerator and paid before going to wait by the door for his friend and his rival. After Stan and Kyle came to the door, they went to the movies, got popcorn and took their seats.

...

Ten minutes into the movie Stan was fighting a yawn. While he no longer saw everything as crap, that didn't mean he particularly liked Terrance and Philip. He wasn't against it but for some reason he just didn't find them funny anymore; maybe he was just getting too old for this stuff Stan thought.

"Psst..."

He turned reluctantly towards Cartman, who was on his left side. Stan suspected Kyle had put Stan in the middle in an attempt to create between his two friends. Well, if that was what Kyle wanted, Stan would play along; he'd come back hoping to rekindle his and Kyle's friendship and he wasn't about to let his hatred for Cartman get in the way. "Yeah?" Stan asked.

"Can I have some of your soda? I drank all mine before the movie started."

"Whatever." Stan passed his drink to his rival and looked back at the movie where, surprise! Terrance was farting on someone's face.

After a handful of seconds, Cartman passed the drink back to him. "Thanks, Stan."

"No problem, Dude." Stan answered, absentmindedly tossing some popcorn in his mouth and taking a sip. He still didn't believe Cartman had changed but as long as he was keeping up the charade of being Kyle's friend, Stan could- "Oh God!" Stan moaned and rising from his chair, dashed out of the theater.

...

"Stan!" Kyle called after the enemy.

Cartman got up. "Come on, Kyle! He might need our help!" Cartman allowed himself a small smirk before rushing off to play the concerned friend. 


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoilers for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. I hope Stan does come back but this is assuming he's been gone for three years.

"Stan!" Cartman exclaimed rushing into the bathroom after Stan. "What's wrong?" There was a farting noise in one of the stalls. "I-"

"Stan?" Kyle asked, following Cartman. "Stan, what's...ew!" He wafted his hand in front of his face as there was another farting noise accompanied by a smell.

"I don't...oh!" There was a third noise. "I don't know, I just- uggh."

"Don't worry, Stan." Cartman assured. "I'm sure-" There was another noise and Cartman took a step back. "Well, uh...maybe we should take you to the doctor's."

"No, I just- Ohhh!" Stan groaned. "I just need to stay here until...ahhh..."Stan sighed in relief. Cartman smiled. Over before Stan'd suspect anything. "I feel better now."

"Are you sure?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, let's go back to watching the movie." Stan said and there was a rustle of fabric as he pulled up his pants and exited the stall.

Cartman hid his disappointment. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, dude." Kyle seconded. "I mean you seem pretty sick."

"Yeah." Stan said. "I feel better now. Let's-oh!" He dashed back into the stall.

…..

Stan didn't know what was wrong. He'd been fine this morning! Maybe there was something bad in his popcorn or…his soda! Damn, he'd let Cartman have some and then when Stan drank from it he'd gotten sick! "Cartman…" He growled.

"Yes, Stan?" The boy's voice came.

Stan was about to tell him off but then he thought better. He couldn't prove that Cartman had put something in his drink and Kyle would just think Stan was being paranoid. He sighed. "Cartman, Kyle, maybe you should just finish the movie without me. I think I'll just go home."

"No, Dude." Kyle answered. "You're too sick to be alone."

"Yeah, we'll walk you home." Cartman seconded.

"No, really." Stan moaned as he was sick again. "I can't- ohh!"

He was like that for the next ten minutes but neither Cartman or Kyle left. When Stan could finally pull up his pants and leave, they walked him out of the theater and down to the motel.

"You stay here, Kyle." Cartman said, when they got there. "I'm going to make sure Stan gets up to his room."

"I'll go with you." Kyle disagreed.

"No, that's okay, Dude." Stan spoke up. "It'll just take a moment."

"Okay." Kyle answered reluctantly.

"I'll be right back down." Cartman assured. "Wait for me?" Kyle nodded and Cartman and Stan headed into the moment the doors had closed, Stan stabbed the button and backed away from Cartman. "Whatever is the matter, Stan?" Cartman asked innocently.

"Dude, you can…just drop it okay?" Stan snarled.

"Drop what?"

"I know you did something to my drink so you can just stop acting all nice. It's just the two of us, so admit it."

A slow smirk spread across Cartman's face. "Stan, I know you're jealous that Kyle likes me better than you but-"

"He doesn't!" Stan yelled, causing Cartman to grin even more. "He likes who he thinks you are! Once he finds out that you haven't changed he'll go back to hating you!"

"Oh, but I have changed, Stan." Cartman sneered. "Kyle and I are best friends now and I'm not about to let you get in the way of that."

"You won't have a choice, you asshole." Stan replied. "I'm planning on hanging out with you guys for the rest of the time I'm down here. Sooner or later I'll find a way to let Kyle know you're not as nice as you act."

"And how will you do that, Stan?" Cartman chuckled. "Tell him I poured laxatives in your drink? Tell him I'm still a manipulative asshole?" He shook his head. "Stan, Stan, Stan. You've been gone for too long. Kyle trusts me more than you now. I suggest you get used to it." There was a ding and the doors slid open. "You're floor?" Cartman gestured towards the exit. Shaking with rage and unable to think of a good response, Stan leapt forward, stomped on Cartman's foot, and raced off toward his room.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch.4

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoilers for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. I hope Stan does come back but this is assuming he's been gone for three years. 

Cartman hissed, jumping on one foot and cradling the wounded one in his hands. "Aye! That hurt you son of a bitch!" Stan didn't reply and the doors closed again. "Well, well, well, two can play at that game." Cartman whispered.

He hit the door open button and stuck his foot in the opening and waited. Seconds later it closed on his foot and then opened again. He hit the door close button and it repeated the two actions. Then he drew his foot back inside and pushed the button for the bottom floor. It genuinely hurt to stand on but when he reached the bottom floor he managed to limp out. Joining Kyle, they started to walk home.

"Did Stan make it up okay?" Kyle asked.

'Dammnit, Kyle!' Cartman thought, 'Why the fuck to you care so much about Stan?'. Aloud he said, "Yeah. I hope he's better by tomorrow."

"Maybe we should have told him where to meet us." Kyle turned back, looking at the hotel worriedly.

"Nah, he'll just call us if he's better." Cartman answered, then stumbled, falling to the ground.

"Dude, you okay?" Kyle knelt next to his friend.

"Ugh, yeah, it's just my foot!"

"Here, let me see." The redhead gingerly pulled off Cartman's shoe and sock, causing Cartman to whimper.

"Ow, Kahl! That hurts!" Cartman cried.

"Damn dude!" Kyle whistled. "I was barely touching it! What happened?"

"Uh…Stan stumbled over it on his way out of the elevator."

"No way, this is way too red for that!" Kyle shook his head. Looking down Cartman saw that his foot had started to swell a bit. Damn, maybe he'd overdone it. Oh, well, at least Kyle was fooled. "What happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Cartman made sure not to meet Kyle's eyes.

"Cartman…"

"Okay!" Cartman sighed. "I didn't want to tell you this Kyle, but Stan was really mean once we left. He accused me of putting something in his drink and then he stomped on my foot."

"That son of a…" Kyle trailed of and started back towards the hotel.

"No, Kyle!" Cartman called after him, making his voice sound concerned. "It's fine!"

"No it's not Cartman!" Kyle growled. "Look at your foot! I think it might be broken!"

"I'm sure Stan's just jealous of our Super BFFship!" Cartman pleaded. "He probably didn't mean to step on it so hard! Come on! Let's just go to my house and watch Terrance and Philip!"

"No!" Kyle snapped. "I'm going to go-"

"Please Kahl!" Cartman whined.

"Okay, but we need to take you to the hospital first." Kyle answered reluctantly.

'Wha-n-no!" Cartman stuttered. He had imagined a day with Kyle and him relaxing in front of the TV, bashing Stan and eating Cheesy Poofs; not having to hang out in the hospital.

"Cartman," Kyle sighed, "Your foot is all swollen, it hurts for you to walk on it, and we don't know if it's broken or not. We're going to the hospital."

"No!" Cartman protested. "We need to go watch Terrance and Philip and eat Cheesy Poofs!"

"We can do that after the Doctor clears you." Kyle replied sternly. "Now, come on." He reached down and draped Cartman's arm across his shoulder and started pulling. "Come on, stand up."

"Dumb..." Cartman rattled off a string of insults but began to put his weight on his good foot.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Stop being a stubborn asshole and let's get you to the hospital." Cartman growled and elbowed Kyle lightly in the chest, but didn't respond. Eric hadn't planned on going to the hospital but if this was what it took to keep Kyle his, he supposed it was worth it.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch.5

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoilers for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. 

"Okay, can you move it around?" The doctor was asking.

"I don't know!" Cartman grumbled. "Why would I move something if it might hurt? Fucking idiot!"

"Cartman!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Fine, fine!" Cartman sighed, and wincing, managed to roll his ankle. Damn! Why did Kyle have to make him come to this asshole?

"Now, did that hurt?" The doctor asked.

"Damn right it hurt! What type of fucking doctor are you?" Eric snapped.

"Cartman, he's just trying to help!" Kyle pleaded.

"What?" Cartman turned to his friend. Did Kyle expect him to just the doctor walk all over him? "Doctors are supposed to make you better not hurt!" He turned back to the doctor. "You better not give me AIDS!"

"Why…why would I give you AIDS?" The doctor replied confusedly, looking between Kyle and Cartman.

"Never mind." Kyle shook his head. "Is it broken?"

"Well," The doctor smiled after a second, "I'll have to check the X-ray to make sure but I think it's just sprained."

"See, Kahl?" Cartman smirked. "I was right and you were wrong!"

"He said he still needed to look at the X-ray." Kyle scoffed unconvincingly.

"Well," The doctor said hesitantly, "I **guess** I'll go check."

"Uh…yeah, that would be nice!" Cartman rolled his eyes. Did this asshole think they had all day?

The doctor smiled. "Well, in that case I'll be back in just a few minutes. You two boys-"  
>"Just go already!" Cartman snapped. "GOD!" The doctor hurried from the room.<p>

Kyle sighed and crossed his arms. "Dammit, you're such an asshole, Cartman."

"Wha-what did I do?" Cartman asked. Yeesh! It wasn't like he'd lost his temper or anything like that!

…..

It turned out Cartman had fractured a small bone in his ankle. The doctor had given him a cast and told Cartman to rest. Kyle had called Mrs. Cartman to pick them up. Now they were plopped down on the couch, watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and eating Cheesy Poofs and popcorn.

"Hey, you know Legolas and Gimli are sort of like us, don't you think?" Cartman asked, looking over at Kyle innocently.

"Uh…sure, Cartman." Kyle responded, confusedly. It wasn't like Cartman to start 'heart-to-heart' conversations.

"I mean," the other boy continued, "they start out as enemies, then turn into reluctant allies, but slowly become friends."

"Yeah…"  
>"And by the end they're inseparable. Just like us."<p>

Realization dawned on Kyle. "You don't need to worry, Cartman." He reassured. "Just because Stan's back, doesn't mean he'll become my best friend again."

"Of course not!" Cartman snapped. "Who said I was worried?"

Kyle hid a smirk. "No one. I just wanted to make sure you knew that."

"Oh." A pause. "Hey, Kahl?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have more popcorn?" Eric asked, eyes blinking with a sweet smile.

"You already ate most of the bowl!" Kyle snorted, looking down at the bowl.

"I know, but I'm still hungreeee!" Cartman whined.

"No." Kyle replied firmly. "No more. I want to eat some too."

"But, Kaaahl! I broke meh ankle!"

"What's that got to do with popcorn?"

"You need to be nice to meee!"

"Okay." Kyle grinned. "You can have the rest."

"That's more like it!" Cartman replied smugly, reaching for the bowl. Before Cartman could react, Kyle pulled the bowl back and threw the contents at his friends. "Ay!" Cartman exclaimed and picking up the bag of Cheesy Poofs, returned fire.

But Kyle was prepared and had one of the couch pillows in front of him before Cartman could do much damage. Scooping up the Cheesy Poofs that fell to the side, Kyle aimed them around his shield and was amused to hear a crunch. Sneaking a peek he saw that Cartman had emptied the bag and was catching the missiles in his mouth.

With a chuckle, Kyle let his pillow drop. "The point wasn't for you to eat them!"

"Mmm…you totally suck at combat, Kahl." Cartman said. "Never use food...mmm...unless you want to lose…"

"Whatever, Cartman." Kyle laughed and got up. "I'm going to go wash my hands. They're covered in butter and cheese."

"You know, we're only going to have more." Cartman protested.

"_You're_ going to have more." Kyle pointed out. "Only you could eat more after popcorn and candy at the movies and then popcorn and Cheesy Poofs here."

"Hey," Cartman answered defensively, "when global warming brings about another ice age, I'll be able to go a month without food and you'll be wishing that you ate more popcorn and Cheesy Poofs!"

"Yeah, except we'll all be dead by then." Apparently Cartman couldn't think of a reply to that so Kyle continued on his way to the bathroom. Casting a glance over his shoulder, he shut the door. He turned the faucet on and quickly washed and dried his hands but then pulled out his phone and dialed a number that he hadn't dialed in years but had never wanted to delete.

"Hello?" The voice said.

"Stan."


	6. Chapter 6

Ch.6

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park, Criminal Minds or any of their characters. Oh, and spoilers for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. 

"Kyle?" Stan asked, narrowing his eyes in surprise. "Hey, what's up?" He hadn't expected to hear from Kyle until the next day.

"You broke Cartman's foot!" Kyle snapped, causing static to crackle in Stan's ear.

But it was the words that caused Stan to flinch away, "What?"

"Oh, don't act so surprised, Stan." Kyle continued his tirade. "Cartman told me you stomped on his foot. Do you honestly expect me to be-"

"Whoa, whoa, Kyle! Slow down!" This was all so bizarre! "Look, Cartman and I did have a fight and I did step on his foot but…"

"But what Stan?"

"It wasn't nearly hard enough to break it! I-I…" It hadn't been! Had it? Stan wasn't so sure anymore. He'd been pretty mad. Could he have accidently- no! He couldn't have! "I couldn't have broken his foot!"

"Well, then how did it get broken?" Kyle asked, sounding slightly less argumentative.

"I-I-I…" Stan sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I stomped harder than I thought. I swear, Kyle, I never meant to break his foot."

There was a pause. "Cartman also said you accused him of spiking his drink."

"I did?"

"Yeah."

"Look, Dude, I don't remember all that much." Stan lied. "I think I got food poisoning or something. My Mom said I looked pretty bad when I came in. Is Cartman there? I'd like to apologize to him." He wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew that if he wanted to get close to Kyle, he'd need to at least pretend to be won over by Cartman.

Kyle breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, but maybe you should rest."

"No, really! I feel bad." Stan crossed his fingers.

"Well, how about you wait till tomorrow and if you feel better you can apologize in person?"

"Sure." Stan agreed. After all, this would give him a chance to make see if Cartman's leg was really broken _and _allow him to hang out with Kyle.

"Great." Stan could tell Kyle was smiling on the other end. "It'll be just like old times!"

'Yeah, except now you're best friends with a sociopathic asshole!' Stan thought. Aloud he said, "Yeah. Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye." There was a click on the other end and Stan hung up.

…..

With a smirk Cartman hurried back to his seat. It didn't matter that Stan had managed to convince Kyle that he was sorry. Kyle was on Cartman's side and if Stan started being an asshole, Kyle would help Cartman kill him. "Finally!" He called when he heard the bathroom door open. "God, how long does it take you to wash your hands?"

"Sorry." Kyle said, plopping down on the couch next to him. "I had a phone call to make. Stan says he's sorry."

Cartman let his eyes widen. "You didn't need to call him!"

"I wanted to!" Kyle protested. "He broke your foot! But he says he had food poisoning and didn't know what he was doing. He sounded really upset that he hurt you." Kyle paused. "I…told him he could hang out with us tomorrow. So he could apologize in person."

Cartman frowned, and bit his lip. "Well…I guess that's okay. I mean, as long as he doesn't attack me again."

"Don't worry." Kyle assured. "He feels bad; he doesn't even remember it."

"Wow, he must have been really sick!" Cartman whistled. He wondered if Stan had made this up or if the laxative was more potent than the bottle said. Oh well, he'd find out soon enough. "I guess it wasn't his fault then. Hey! Maybe it'll be like old times!" Cartman added in an enthusiastic tone.

Kyle chuckled. "That's what I said." The red head checked his watch. "Well, it's getting late. You know how my Mom is when I'm not home by nine."

"Yeah, she's a total bitch!"

"Yeah." Kyle agreed. "At least she's not a whore, though!"

"AI!" Cartman shouted and lobbed the empty popcorn bowl at his friend as he ducked out the door. Chuckling, Eric got up to retrieve it.

…..

Stan had lain awake in bed for an hour after the call, musing over things. After replaying the scene about a dozen times in his head, he was sure of it: there was no way he could have broken Cartman's foot. Bruised? Maybe. Sprained? It was a stretch but it was possible. Break? Never. He doubted he was strong enough to do so unless he put all his weight into it.

Sitting up, he checked his watch. Going on ten. He got up, watched some reruns of Criminal Minds, and then took out his cell and started dialing. It rang five times before it was finally picked up. "Anf?" The startled but tired voice asked.

"Hey, Kenny." Stan said. "Look, I'm back for a couple of days and I hung out with Cartman and Kyle today." He relayed all that had happened. "I was wondering if you could go talk to Cartman and see what happened."

"If afe!"

"I know, but I'd really, really appreciate it!"

The other boy sighed. "Offay."

"Thanks." Stan smiled. "Oh, and Kenny?"

"Af?"

"It's good to talk to you again."


	7. Chapter 7

Ch.7

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoilers for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. 

'Why is it always me?' Kenny thought as he trudged up the walk to Cartman's house. 'It's always 'Hey, Kenny! Why don't you impersonate this pedophile's kid?' or 'Hey, Kenny! Why don't you eat this manatee spleen?' And why? 'Because we want you too!' Oh, well; better just get this over with'. _DING!_ He pressed the bell.

"MEHM!" Kenny heard Cartman's voice yell.

Moments later, the door opened. "Oh, hello, Kenny. Come in." Mrs. Cartman greeted him cheerfully, as always. Wordlessly Kenny entered the house. "Poopsiekins! Your friend is here!"

"Again?" Cartman poked his head above the sofa. "Oh, hey Kenny. You're back early."

"Eff." Kenny said. " 'an aw'."

Cartman's face darkened. "Did he?"

"Eff. E' ed oo' oh uh nk."

"Oh." Cartman went back to eating Cheesy Poofs. "Yeah. He broke it."

Kenny walked further into the room and plopped down on the couch. " 'ow?" He asked, eyeing Cartman's cast suspiciously.

"Does it matter?" Cartman snapped. "God, Kenny!"

" 'ill!" Kenny rolled his eyes. "I' 'us a ession!" Why did Cartman have to be so paranoid?

The other boy studied Kenny's face for a bit and then relaxed. "He stomped on it."

" 'A dunin oun' i' i' oul' 'eak i'." Kenny commented.

"Well," Cartman smirked, putting his hands behind his head, "I might have closed the elevator door on it a few times."

" 'OO!" Kenny shrieked. " 'OO OH OR O'N OOT?"

"Kinneh!" Cartman hissed, glancing around as if someone might be listening. "Keep it down!"

" 'oo…us'…'oo!" Kenny shook his head.

Cartman was his best friend, but Kenny wasn't as naïve as Kyle; he knew that Cartman had ASPD and that people with that disorder rarely changed in a way that mattered. So when Stan had called him, suspecting that Cartman had faked a broken foot, Kenny could believe that. But the thought of Cartman actually breaking his foot…that was just wrong! He thought about excusing himself to call Mr. Mackey, but decided that wouldn't do any good; Cartman would just deny it.

"I didn't mean to break it!" Cartman whispered. "I only meant to make it obvious enough for Kyle to notice!"

" 'o 'y 'id 'oo 'ay 'an 'id i'?"

"Duh!" Cartman snorted. "So he wouldn't steal Kyle back!"

" 'id 'e 'ay 'e 'as goin' 'oo?" Kenny asked condescendingly

"No…" Cartman trailed off.

" 'o 'y 'oo 'oo 'ink-"

"GOD! Who are you, Stan's lawyer?" Cartman snapped. "Stan and Kyle were best friends. Now Stan's back and he doesn't like me hanging out with Kyle. If I don't try to get Kyle to hate him, I'll lose meh best friend!"

" 'at 'on 'appen!" Kenny assured. " 'an's ony in 'own 'or a uhle o' 'ays! 'en 'e 'eav', 'ings 'ill 'o 'ack 'oo 'orma'."

Cartman sighed. "I guess you're right. I'll lay off unless Stan tries anything. Hey, do me a favor? Don't tell anyone?"

Kenny instantly felt a surge of uneasiness. " 'only 'i 'oo 'on 'oo anythin'."

"I won't." Cartman promised.

"O'ay 'en." Kenny still wasn't sure whether to believe Cartman but as long he kept his end of the bargain... "I 'us 'opped by 'o 'ee 'ow 'oo 'ere, so gooeye."

"Wanna stay and watch TV?"

"No, than'." Kenny yawned. "I' 'ire'."

"Okay. Well, seeya tomorrow, Kenny." Cartman said, turning his attention back to the TV.

" 'ee uh." Kenny replied, and exited the house. Once he had walked onto the sidewalk, he pulled out his phone. 'His leg's broken.' He texted to Stan. As long as Cartman kept his word, Kenny wouldn't bother to tell anyone. After all, it wasn't like he had any proof. Pocketing his phone, he began his walk home.

…..

Back on the sofa, Cartman smirked. Leave it to Stan to send Kenny to check up on him. Oh, well. Cartman had done enough damage for a long time. As long as Stan left in a couple of days, Kyle wouldn't even think of dumping Cartman for his old best friend. Eric wondered idly if Kenny would tell Stan or Kyle, but it didn't really matter. Kyle trusted Cartman too much to believe either of those two.


End file.
